There's a parade in me kitchen, not of proud men in hats
So I'll put down me weapons, and with them I'll coexist
In me kitchen, the battle's done
They've claimed me sugar bowl, and now they want me honey jar
I've tried every trick, from spray to sticky traps
I've waged a losing war, against this arthropod corps
But these six-legged squatters, they're clever little chaps
These kamikaze crawlers, have gone straight to me head
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em - I'm now a Myrmecologist!
Of table and chair, like some mad peg-legged peg
But of tiny black insects, marching like bureaucrats
Now I've had an epiphany, as I watch them toil away
We've reached a truce, some might say it's daft
Oh, the ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants keep marching, one by one
But the ants keep marching, one by one, hurrah
Cleaning up me crumbs, like a free maid service, hey!
But they build their bridges, with bodies of the dead
I've laid out poison, placed boots 'round every leg
But at least now, the floor's spotless fore and aft!