Tommy

Rudyard Kipling

1865 to 1936

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    For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
    O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
    The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
    But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
    The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
    There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
 
    While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
    For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
    O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
    But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
 
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
    O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.
I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
    Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
    An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!
    The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
    But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
    An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
    O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.
    But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
 
We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
    O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
 
    But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,