Now by this moon, before this moon shall wane
I shall be dead or I shall be with you!
No moral concept can outweigh the pain
Past rack and wheel this absence puts me through;
Faith, honour, pride, endurance, what the tongues
Of tedious men will say, or what the law—
For which of these do I fill up my lungs
With brine and fire at every breath I draw?
Time, and to spare, for patience by and by,
Time to be cold and time to sleep alone;
Let me no more until the hour I die
Defraud my innocent senses of their own.
Before this moon shall darken, say of me:
She’s in her grave, or where she wants to be.
Edna St. Vincent Millay's sonnet "Now by this moon" stands as one of the most electrifying declarations of passionate urgency in twentieth-century American poetry. Written during the height of her creative powers, this fourteen-line masterpiece encapsulates the revolutionary spirit of a woman who dared to claim sexual agency and emotional authenticity in an era when such declarations were radical acts of rebellion. The poem pulses with an almost violent intensity, transforming the traditional sonnet form into a vehicle for expressing desires so fierce they threaten to consume everything in their path—social conventions, moral strictures, and even life itself.
To fully appreciate the radical nature of "Now by this moon," one must situate it within the cultural landscape of early twentieth-century America. Millay, writing during the 1920s and 1930s, emerged as a literary voice during a period of unprecedented social transformation. The Jazz Age had ushered in new freedoms for women—the right to vote, greater economic independence, and evolving attitudes toward sexuality and personal expression. Yet these changes coexisted uneasily with deeply entrenched Victorian moral codes that continued to govern acceptable behavior, particularly for women.
Millay herself embodied these contradictions and possibilities. Born in 1892 in rural Maine, she came of age during a period when the "New Woman" was challenging traditional gender roles. Her bohemian lifestyle in Greenwich Village, her numerous love affairs with both men and women, and her unapologetic pursuit of artistic and personal freedom made her a scandalous figure in conservative circles and an icon for those seeking to break free from conventional constraints.
The poem's historical context is crucial to understanding its revolutionary power. When Millay wrote of sexual desire with such uncompromising directness, she was not merely expressing personal emotion but challenging centuries of literary tradition that had largely silenced women's erotic voices. The sonnet form itself, traditionally dominated by male poets writing about idealized or unattainable women, becomes in Millay's hands a weapon of female agency and self-determination.
The cultural backdrop of post-World War I America also informs the poem's sense of urgency. The war had shattered many illusions about progress, morality, and the stability of civilization. In this context, Millay's insistence on seizing immediate pleasure and rejecting abstract moral principles reflects a broader cultural shift toward presentism and skepticism about traditional values. The poem's existential urgency—its demand for resolution "before this moon shall wane"—echoes the post-war generation's awareness of life's fragility and the imperative to live authentically in the present moment.
Millay's mastery of literary technique serves her thematic purposes with remarkable precision. The poem opens with an oath—"Now by this moon"—that immediately establishes both temporal urgency and cosmic scale. The moon, a traditional symbol of femininity, cycles, and change, becomes the witness to and measure of the speaker's desperate timeline. This celestial invocation lends the poem an almost ritualistic quality, as if the speaker is performing a sacred vow before the universe itself.
The use of stark binary choices throughout the poem creates a sense of existential crisis that drives the narrative forward. "I shall be dead or I shall be with you" presents no middle ground, no compromise position. This either-or construction appears repeatedly—life or death, presence or absence, fulfillment or destruction—creating a rhetorical structure that mirrors the speaker's psychological state. There is no room for nuance in this emotional landscape; everything has been reduced to essential, irrecducible choices.
Millay's employment of physical imagery intensifies the poem's visceral impact. The reference to "rack and wheel"—instruments of medieval torture—transforms emotional absence into something approaching physical agony. This metaphor accomplishes several things simultaneously: it elevates the speaker's emotional experience to the level of martyrdom, it provides a concrete correlative for abstract psychological pain, and it invokes a historical context of suffering that adds gravity to the personal drama.
The imagery of breathing and suffocation runs throughout the poem, creating a sustained metaphor for the speaker's struggle with her situation. She fills her lungs "with brine and fire at every breath," suggesting that the very act of staying alive in the absence of her beloved has become a form of torment. The salt and flame imagery evokes both tears and passion, the dual nature of intense emotion that both sustains and destroys.
Perhaps most striking is Millay's inversion of traditional moral language. Words like "faith," "honour," "pride," and "endurance"—typically presented as virtues—are dismissed as inadequate to the speaker's situation. This rejection of conventional moral categories represents a fundamental challenge to the value systems that would constrain her desires. The poem argues that authentic human experience transcends abstract moral concepts, that the reality of passion and longing carries more weight than social or religious prohibitions.
The central tension in "Now by this moon" lies between individual desire and social expectation, between the authentic self and the conforming self. The speaker finds herself caught between two incompatible systems of value: the internal compass of her emotions and the external pressures of social respectability. This conflict manifests in her contemptuous dismissal of "what the tongues / Of tedious men will say, or what the law" might dictate. The characterization of men as "tedious" is particularly pointed, suggesting that masculine authority—both social and legal—is not merely oppressive but fundamentally boring, irrelevant to the vital realities of lived experience.
The theme of time permeates the poem, but not in the traditional carpe diem sense. Rather than simply urging the seizing of pleasure before it's too late, Millay presents time as both enemy and ally. The moon's cycle provides a deadline, a cosmic countdown that adds urgency to the speaker's declaration. Yet she also acknowledges that there will be "time, and to spare, for patience by and by, / Time to be cold and time to sleep alone." This recognition that conventional life offers plenty of time for emptiness and solitude makes her demand for immediate resolution all the more poignant.
The concept of defrauding one's "innocent senses" introduces another layer of moral complexity. The speaker refuses to continue denying her physical and emotional needs, characterizing such denial as a form of theft from her own authentic nature. This reframing of traditional virtue as self-betrayal represents a radical departure from conventional morality. Instead of seeing restraint as noble, the speaker presents it as a form of violence against her true self.
Death emerges not as the enemy of love but as preferable to continued separation. The poem's final couplet offers stark alternatives: "She's in her grave, or where she wants to be." This equation of death and desire fulfillment suggests that for the speaker, a life without passionate connection is essentially a form of death already. The poem thus challenges not only social conventions about proper behavior but also fundamental assumptions about the value of life itself when divorced from authentic emotional experience.
The emotional force of "Now by this moon" derives partly from its psychological realism. Millay captures with remarkable accuracy the mental state of someone pushed to the limits of endurance by unfulfilled desire. The poem's breathless urgency, its hyperbolic declarations, and its all-or-nothing thinking all ring true to the experience of obsessive longing. Yet the poem avoids descending into mere emotional melodrama through its sophisticated use of literary form and its complex engagement with moral philosophy.
The speaker's relationship to her own desires is notably complex. She neither apologizes for her feelings nor presents them as uncontrollable forces. Instead, she makes a conscious choice to prioritize them above social expectations, taking full responsibility for the consequences. This agency—this deliberate choosing of passion over prudence—gives the poem much of its power. The speaker is not a victim of her emotions but their champion and advocate.
The poem's treatment of physical desire is particularly notable for its directness without crudeness. Millay manages to convey intense sexual longing without explicit imagery, relying instead on metaphor and suggestion. The "innocent senses" that demand satisfaction, the torturous breathing, the urgent timeline—all of these elements combine to create a portrait of physical need that is both dignified and urgent.
When placed alongside the work of her contemporaries, "Now by this moon" reveals both its innovations and its literary heritage. The poem's direct treatment of female desire aligns it with the work of other modernist women writers who were challenging traditional gender roles and sexual conventions. H.D.'s imagist poems, for instance, also presented female speakers claiming agency over their erotic lives, though with less dramatic urgency than Millay displays here.
The poem's formal structure—a Shakespearean sonnet with a slight variation—connects it to a long tradition of love poetry while simultaneously subverting that tradition's typical power dynamics. Where Renaissance sonneteers often positioned themselves as supplicants to cruel mistresses, Millay's speaker claims equal agency in determining the course of her romantic fate. She will not wait passively for love to find her; she will actively pursue resolution, even if it means death.
The poem's moral stance—its rejection of conventional virtue in favor of authentic experience—aligns it with broader modernist themes. Like T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" or Wallace Stevens's "Sunday Morning," Millay's sonnet grapples with the collapse of traditional value systems and the need to construct new frameworks for meaningful living. However, where Eliot's speaker remains paralyzed by uncertainty and Stevens's protagonist engages in philosophical speculation, Millay's speaker chooses decisive action.
The poem also anticipates later developments in feminist literature. Its insistence on women's right to sexual fulfillment and its rejection of masculine moral authority prefigure themes that would become central to second-wave feminism. The speaker's refusal to apologize for her desires or to seek permission for her choices establishes a model of female agency that remains relevant to contemporary discussions of women's autonomy.
Understanding Millay's personal history illuminates but does not diminish the poem's universal appeal. Born into poverty in rural Maine and raised by a fiercely independent mother who encouraged her artistic ambitions, Millay learned early that conventional paths might not be available to her. Her unconventional lifestyle—including her famous love affairs and her eventual marriage to Eugen Boissevain, who supported her career even as she continued relationships with others—reflected her commitment to living according to her own values rather than social expectations.
The poem's treatment of time and mortality may reflect Millay's awareness of her own health problems and her sense that life was too short to waste on unfulfilling compromises. Her later struggles with mental illness and addiction suggest someone for whom the stakes of emotional authenticity were indeed matters of life and death. The poem's either-or thinking, while dramatically effective, may also reflect psychological patterns that would later prove problematic for the poet herself.
Yet the biographical context serves primarily to underscore the poem's courage rather than to explain it away. Millay's willingness to live according to her convictions, despite social disapproval and personal cost, gives weight to her poetic declarations. The poem gains power from our knowledge that its author was prepared to face the consequences of such radical honesty.
"Now by this moon" raises profound questions about the relationship between individual fulfillment and social responsibility. The speaker's rejection of conventional moral categories—"Faith, honour, pride, endurance"—challenges readers to consider whether these virtues serve human flourishing or merely social control. The poem suggests that abstract moral principles may become obstacles to authentic living when they prevent individuals from pursuing genuine emotional and physical needs.
This philosophical stance aligns with existentialist thought, particularly the emphasis on individual choice and responsibility. Like Sartre's characters, Millay's speaker faces the burden and freedom of creating her own values in a world where traditional guideposts prove inadequate. The poem's urgency reflects the existentialist understanding that we are "condemned to be free," forced to make choices without ultimate guarantees about their correctness.
The poem also engages with questions about the nature of love itself. Is the speaker's passion ennobling or destructive? Does her willingness to choose death over unfulfillment represent the highest form of romantic commitment or a dangerous obsession? The poem refuses to provide easy answers, instead presenting the raw intensity of desire and leaving readers to grapple with its implications.
The relationship between individual desire and social order remains one of the most challenging aspects of the poem's philosophy. While the speaker's rejection of social constraints may seem liberating, it also raises questions about the possibility of community and shared values. Can a society function if everyone prioritizes personal fulfillment over collective expectations? The poem doesn't address these broader implications, focusing instead on the immediate crisis of the individual caught between competing loyalties.
"Now by this moon" endures because it captures something essential about human nature: the capacity for desires so intense they transform our entire understanding of what matters. Millay's achievement lies not merely in expressing such passion but in crafting a formal structure that contains and channels its energy without diminishing its force. The sonnet becomes a pressure cooker, concentrating emotional intensity until it reaches an almost unbearable pitch.
The poem's relevance to contemporary readers lies partly in its unflinching examination of competing value systems. In an age when traditional institutions continue to lose authority while individuals struggle to construct meaningful alternatives, Millay's speaker offers both inspiration and warning. Her courage in choosing authenticity over safety remains admirable, even as her all-or-nothing approach suggests the dangers of refusing any form of compromise or patience.
Perhaps most importantly, the poem validates the significance of emotional experience in ways that remain necessary and radical. In a culture that often dismisses intense feeling as weakness or self-indulgence, Millay presents passion as a source of moral authority. The speaker's emotions don't blind her to other considerations; they provide a clarity that cuts through social pretense and philosophical abstraction to reach fundamental truths about what it means to be fully alive.
"Now by this moon" stands as testimony to poetry's unique capacity to transform private experience into shared understanding. Through her masterful deployment of form, imagery, and argument, Millay created a work that speaks across decades to anyone who has ever felt the pull of desires too strong to deny or postpone. The poem remains dangerous in the best sense—dangerous to complacency, to half-measures, to the comfortable compromises that prevent us from discovering what we might become if we had the courage to follow our deepest longings to their ultimate destination.
In the end, the poem succeeds because it refuses to apologize for the intensity of human need. Whether readers find the speaker's choice admirable or alarming, they cannot dismiss the authenticity of her experience or the skill with which it has been rendered. Millay has created a permanent record of what it feels like to be pushed beyond the limits of conventional endurance, and in doing so, she has expanded our understanding of both poetry's possibilities and the human heart's capacity for transformation through desire.
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