Versicles for Vegetarians

Since Dr. Watts in frenzy fine
Extolled the "busy Bee,"
The patience of the Porcupine,
The Newt's fidelity,
The calm contentment of the Pike,
Have stirred our hearts and brain alike.

Lives there a man so lost, so low,
That he has never found
Some lesson in the Buffalo,
Some precept in the Hound?
Few who have won Victoria's cross
Owe nothing to the Albatross.

These pleasant thoughts must turn our minds,
In meditation quiet,
Towards the moral law that binds
The principles of diet.
Since 'tis a maxim none disputes,
That we should imitate the brutes.

As has been shown in former verse,
The animal creation
Does not in its own nature nurse
Inebriate inclination;
Nor is it formed by Heaven to pant
For alcoholic stimulant.

That being so, our path is plain,
We must eschew all drinks;
If we are anxious to attain
To the celestial brinks,
The meanest Hippopotamus
Will make our duty clear to us.

But in the search for Natural guides
To moral food-restrictions,
We are assaulted on all sides
By patent contradictions.
Thus, while the Lion lives on meat,
The Pheasant is content with wheat.

Who then, when beasts do not agree,
Shall venture to decide?
Some will adopt the Chimpanzee
And some the Fox as guide,
Others the Bear or Antelope,
Nature allows the fullest scope.