We Have Been Friends Together

Caroline Elizabeth Sheridan's We Have Been Friends Together

Caroline Elizabeth Sheridan’s We Have Been Friends Together is a poignant meditation on friendship, loss, and the fragility of human bonds. Written in the 19th century, the poem reflects both personal and universal anxieties about the impermanence of relationships, particularly those strained by time, misunderstanding, or emotional distance. Sheridan, a writer whose life was marked by personal hardship and societal constraints, infuses the poem with an undercurrent of melancholy, even as she clings to the hope of reconciliation. Through its evocative imagery, repetition, and emotional crescendo, the poem explores themes of loyalty, memory, and the enduring power of shared experience.

This essay will examine the poem’s historical and cultural context, its literary devices, and its emotional impact, while also considering Sheridan’s biography and the philosophical implications of her meditation on friendship.

Historical and Cultural Context

Caroline Elizabeth Sheridan (1808–1877) was a British poet and novelist, part of a literary family that included her granddaughter, the famed playwright and novelist Frances Hodgson Burnett. Sheridan’s own life was marked by financial instability and personal loss, including the early death of her husband, which forced her to rely on her writing for sustenance. The 19th century, particularly in England, was a period of rigid social expectations, where friendships—especially among women—were often one of the few emotional refuges available outside of marriage. The poem’s lament over a fractured friendship may thus reflect broader anxieties about isolation in an increasingly industrialized and impersonal society.

Additionally, the Victorian era was characterized by a preoccupation with memory and nostalgia, as seen in the works of Tennyson, the Brontës, and Matthew Arnold. Sheridan’s poem fits within this tradition, invoking shared past joys and sorrows as a plea for continuity in the present. The references to "grass-grown graves" and "hopes of early years" suggest a Romantic influence, where nature and memory intertwine to evoke deep emotion.

Literary Devices and Structure

Sheridan employs several key literary devices to reinforce the poem’s themes of enduring connection and present estrangement.

Repetition and Anaphora

The most striking feature of the poem is its use of repetition, particularly the refrain:

"We have been friends together —
Shall a light word part us now?"

This repetition serves multiple functions:

1. Emphasis on Continuity: By reiterating the shared past ("friends together," "gay together," "sad together"), Sheridan underscores the depth of the relationship, making its potential dissolution all the more tragic.

2. Rhetorical Plea: The recurring question ("Shall a light word part us now?") evolves from doubt to near-desperation, culminating in the final stanza’s more urgent: "Oh! What shall part us now?" The shift from "shall" to "what" suggests a move from questioning inevitability to demanding impossibility—nothing should break them apart.

Imagery of Light and Darkness

Sheridan contrasts warmth and coldness to symbolize emotional closeness and distance:

• Sunshine and shade (Stanza 1) evoke the natural fluctuations of friendship.

• "The fount of hope was gushing / Warm and joyous" (Stanza 2) suggests vitality now lost.

• "A cloud is on thy brow" and "sullen glooms thy brow" depict the friend’s emotional withdrawal.

This imagery reinforces the central conflict: the persistence of memory against the coldness of the present.

Natural Symbolism

The poem opens with a nostalgic reference to "chesnut trees" where the friends played in infancy, grounding their bond in nature—a common Romantic trope suggesting purity and timelessness. Later, the "grass-grown graves" symbolize buried hopes, merging personal grief with the natural cycle of growth and decay.

Themes

The Fragility of Friendship

The poem’s central concern is whether a long-standing friendship can be undone by something as trivial as a "light word." This speaks to the Victorian anxiety over social propriety and the ease with which relationships could be damaged by misunderstandings or societal pressures.

Memory as a Binding Force

Sheridan suggests that shared history—both joyful and sorrowful—should be stronger than present discord. The final stanza’s invocation of lost loved ones ("The voices which are silent there / Would bid thee clear thy brow") implies that even the dead would advocate for reconciliation, lending moral weight to the speaker’s plea.

Emotional Resilience

The progression from "friends" to "gay" to "sad" mirrors life’s inevitable oscillations between happiness and grief. The speaker’s insistence that these experiences should unite rather than divide them reflects a deeply humanistic belief in endurance through shared suffering.

Comparative Analysis

Sheridan’s poem resonates with other Victorian meditations on friendship and loss. For instance:

• Alfred Lord Tennyson’s In Memoriam grapples with grief and the fear of forgetting, much like Sheridan’s concern over a friend’s emotional withdrawal.

• Emily Brontë’s Remembrance explores how memory sustains love beyond death, similar to Sheridan’s appeal to "grass-grown graves."

However, Sheridan’s focus is more intimate, less philosophical than Tennyson’s and less tragic than Brontë’s. Her poem is a direct, personal appeal rather than an elegy.

Biographical Insights

Sheridan’s own life lends depth to the poem. After her husband’s death, she faced financial hardship and societal marginalization, relying on friendships and literary work for survival. The fear of abandonment—whether through death or estrangement—permeates her writing. The poem’s plea may thus reflect her own anxieties about losing crucial emotional support.

Philosophical and Emotional Impact

The poem’s power lies in its universality. Everyone has experienced the fear that a cherished relationship might dissolve over something minor. Sheridan captures this fear with aching simplicity, making the reader wonder: If we have endured so much together, how can we let this divide us now?

The final line—"Oh! What shall part us now?"—shifts from uncertainty to defiance. It is no longer a question but a challenge: after all we’ve shared, nothing should break us. This emotional crescendo leaves the reader with a sense of unresolved tension, mirroring the fragility of human connections.

Conclusion

We Have Been Friends Together is a masterful exploration of loyalty, memory, and the precariousness of relationships. Through its evocative imagery, strategic repetition, and emotional progression, Sheridan crafts a plea that is both deeply personal and universally resonant. Rooted in Victorian anxieties yet timeless in its appeal, the poem reminds us that friendship is not just about shared joy but also shared sorrow—and that such bonds are too precious to be discarded lightly.

In an age where relationships are often fleeting, Sheridan’s words remain a poignant testament to the enduring power of connection.

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