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Remember

Christina Rossetti

1830 to 1894

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Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

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Christina Rossetti's Remember

Christina Rossetti's sonnet "Remember" is a poignant exploration of love, memory, and the complexities of grief. Written in 1862 and published in her collection "Goblin Market and Other Poems," this piece showcases Rossetti's mastery of the sonnet form while delving into profound existential themes.

The poem is structured as a Petrarchan sonnet, consisting of an octave (the first eight lines) and a sestet (the final six lines). This structure allows Rossetti to present a nuanced argument about remembrance and its impact on both the speaker and the addressee. The octave establishes the speaker's initial plea for remembrance, while the sestet introduces a surprising twist that complicates the poem's emotional landscape.

In the opening lines, the speaker implores her beloved to remember her after her death, when she has gone "far away into the silent land." The use of euphemism here - "silent land" for death - softens the blow of mortality while emphasizing the profound separation that death brings. The imagery of physical connection, such as holding hands and the half-turn of departure, underscores the tangible loss that death represents.

The repetition of "Remember me" in the first and fifth lines reinforces the speaker's desperate desire to be held in memory. This repetition, coupled with the regular rhythm and rhyme scheme of the sonnet form, creates a sense of incantation, as if the speaker is casting a spell to ensure her lasting presence in her lover's mind.

However, as the poem progresses, a shift occurs. The speaker acknowledges that it will be "late to counsel then or pray," suggesting an acceptance of the finality of death and the limitations it imposes on earthly connections. This recognition sets the stage for the volta, or turn, that occurs in the sestet.

The sestet introduces a surprising reversal of the speaker's initial plea. Instead of insisting on remembrance, she now offers her beloved permission to forget: "Yet if you should forget me for a while / And afterwards remember, do not grieve." This shift demonstrates a profound selflessness and a mature understanding of the nature of grief and healing.

The final quatrain of the poem presents a powerful juxtaposition between remembering with sadness and forgetting with a smile. The speaker asserts that it is "Better by far you should forget and smile / Than that you should remember and be sad." This conclusion challenges conventional notions of loyalty and remembrance, suggesting that the true measure of love might be found in allowing the beloved to find happiness, even if it means being forgotten.

Rossetti's use of language throughout the poem is both elegant and accessible. The simplicity of her diction belies the complexity of the emotions and ideas she conveys. The regular iambic pentameter and the ABBAABBACDEDEE rhyme scheme provide a musical quality to the verse, enhancing its emotional impact and memorability.

The poem also engages with broader themes of Victorian poetry, particularly the preoccupation with death and the afterlife. However, Rossetti's approach is notably different from many of her contemporaries. Rather than romanticizing death or focusing on reunion in the afterlife, she grapples with the very real and immediate concerns of those left behind.

Moreover, "Remember" can be read as a feminist text, particularly when considering Rossetti's position as a female poet in Victorian England. The speaker's voice is strong and self-assured, making decisions about how she wishes to be remembered and setting the terms of her legacy. This autonomy, even in the face of death, challenges traditional gender roles and expectations.

In conclusion, "Remember" is a masterful exploration of love, memory, and the human experience of loss. Through its careful structure, evocative imagery, and unexpected emotional turns, Rossetti creates a work that resonates deeply with readers. The poem's enduring popularity is a testament to its ability to capture the complex and often contradictory nature of human emotions in the face of mortality. By ultimately privileging the happiness of the beloved over the preservation of memory, Rossetti offers a profound meditation on the true nature of love and the legacy we leave behind.