I do not love thee! no, I do not love thee!
And yet when thou art absent I am sad;
And envy even the bright blue sky above thee,
Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad.
I do not love thee! — yet, I know not why,
Whate'er thou dost seems still well done, to me —
And often in my solitude I sigh —
That those I do love are not more like thee!
I do not love thee! — yet, when thou art gone,
I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)
Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone
Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear.
I do not love thee! — yet thy speaking eyes,
With their deep, bright, and most expressive blue—
Between me and the midnight heaven arise,
Oftener than any eyes I ever knew.
I know I do not love thee!— yet, alas!
Others will scarcely trust my candid heart,
And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,
Because they see me gazing where thou art.
Caroline Elizabeth Sheridan’s I Do Not Love Thee is a masterful exploration of the contradictions inherent in human emotion, particularly the tension between denial and desire. Through its repetitive refutations and evocative imagery, the poem captures the speaker’s struggle to reconcile their proclaimed indifference with an undeniable emotional attachment. Sheridan, a 19th-century poet and playwright, was known for her lyrical expressiveness and keen psychological insight, both of which are on full display in this work. The poem’s deceptive simplicity belies a profound meditation on love, self-deception, and the complexities of the heart.
This analysis will examine the poem’s structure, its use of literary devices, its emotional and psychological depth, and its place within the broader Romantic tradition. Additionally, we will consider how Sheridan’s personal experiences—particularly her own tumultuous romantic life—may have influenced the poem’s composition. Finally, we will explore the universality of the poem’s theme, demonstrating why it continues to resonate with readers today.
The most striking feature of I Do Not Love Thee is its insistent refrain—"I do not love thee!"—which is repeated four times throughout the poem, each time followed by a qualification that undermines the initial assertion. This structure creates a powerful tension between what the speaker claims to feel and what they actually experience. The poem thus becomes a study in self-deception, where the speaker’s vehement denials only serve to reinforce the depth of their attachment.
The opening lines—
"I do not love thee! no, I do not love thee!
And yet when thou art absent I am sad;"
immediately establish this contradiction. The exclamation mark and the repetition of the denial suggest a desperate attempt at self-conviction, yet the subsequent admission of sadness in absence reveals the truth. This technique mirrors the psychological phenomenon of protesting too much—the more one insists on a feeling, the more suspect that insistence becomes.
The speaker’s envy of the natural world—"the bright blue sky above thee, / Whose quiet stars may see thee and be glad"—further underscores their longing. By attributing emotion to inanimate objects (the sky, the stars), the speaker externalizes their own feelings, as if unable to acknowledge them directly. This personification of nature aligns with Romantic sensibilities, where the external world often reflects internal emotional states.
Another key theme in the poem is the idealization of the beloved, a common trope in Romantic poetry. The speaker admits:
"Whate'er thou dost seems still well done, to me—"
This line suggests an almost uncritical admiration, where the beloved’s actions are perceived as inherently perfect. Such idealization is frequently a hallmark of infatuation, where the object of affection is elevated beyond ordinary human flaws. The speaker’s sigh—
"That those I do love are not more like thee!"
further reinforces this, implying that the beloved represents an unattainable standard against which all others are measured. This sentiment echoes the Platonic notion of the ideal form, where love is directed not merely at a person but at an abstract perfection they embody.
Sheridan employs rich sensory imagery to convey the speaker’s involuntary attachment. The auditory and visual motifs are particularly striking:
"I hate the sound (though those who speak be dear)
Which breaks the lingering echo of the tone
Thy voice of music leaves upon my ear."
Here, the speaker resents any interruption that dispels the memory of the beloved’s voice, suggesting an almost haunting presence. The metaphor of the "voice of music" elevates the beloved’s speech to an art form, reinforcing their idealized status. Similarly, the description of the beloved’s eyes—
"Yet thy speaking eyes,
With their deep, bright, and most expressive blue—"
paints a vivid portrait of captivating beauty. The eyes, often considered windows to the soul, become a focal point of the speaker’s fascination, further blurring the line between admiration and love.
The final stanza introduces an element of social observation, where the speaker notes:
"Others will scarcely trust my candid heart,
And oft I catch them smiling as they pass,
Because they see me gazing where thou art."
This shift from internal conflict to external perception adds another layer of complexity. The speaker’s private denials are contradicted by public behavior, suggesting that love (or its semblance) is as much a social performance as it is a personal feeling. The amused reactions of onlookers imply that the speaker’s true emotions are transparent despite their protests, reinforcing the idea that love cannot always be rationally controlled or concealed.
Caroline Elizabeth Sheridan (later Norton) was a figure of considerable personal and literary significance in the 19th century. Her own life was marked by romantic strife—most notably her unhappy marriage to George Norton and her rumored affair with Lord Melbourne, which became the subject of scandal. Given this background, I Do Not Love Thee can be read as a reflection of Sheridan’s own conflicted emotions regarding love and societal expectations.
The poem’s tension between public propriety and private longing may also reflect the constraints placed on women in the Victorian era, where overt declarations of passion were often discouraged. The speaker’s repeated denials could thus be interpreted as a performative adherence to social norms, even as their true feelings persistently surface.
The poem aligns with several key Romantic themes, including the celebration of individual emotion, the interplay between nature and human feeling, and the exploration of unrequited or forbidden love. It also recalls the Petrarchan tradition, where the beloved is both adored and agonized over.
Philosophically, the poem engages with the idea of cognitive dissonance—the mental discomfort experienced when one’s actions contradict their beliefs. The speaker’s insistence on not loving, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, mirrors this psychological struggle.
Sheridan’s I Do Not Love Thee endures because it captures a universal human experience—the conflict between what we tell ourselves and what we truly feel. Its lyrical beauty, combined with its psychological depth, makes it a timeless meditation on love’s irrationality. The poem’s brilliance lies in its ability to articulate the inarticulable, giving voice to the silent wars waged within the heart.
In the end, the speaker’s denials become a kind of love poem in reverse, where every protestation only deepens the reader’s conviction of their affection. Sheridan reminds us that love is not always a declaration; sometimes, it is the very act of resistance that reveals its presence.
Click the button below to print a cloze exercise of the poem critique. This exercise is designed for classroom use.