Who would suspect me? (Who?)
Pillar of community (Yeah)
Wife and kids, living free (Free)
Dark secrets, can't you see? (See?)
Can you honestly say (What?)
Never wanted someone gone? (Nah)
Fleeting thought on a bad day (Day)
When someone's done you wrong (Wrong)

Little Jimmy, eight years old, called to the study
Headmaster's cane, but fate got bloody
Tripped and fell, pen through the eye
Who would suspect? Just a little guy
Angel face, scraped knees, first to yell for help
Picture of innocence, yeah, that's how I dealt
Teenage years, crush had a different beau
Bike accident, tragic, but put on a show
Found him first, tears in my eyes
Blood on my hands, perfect alibi
Who would suspect? The grieving friend
Got the girl too, but that had to end

Workshop drama, boss caught in the lathe
Tried to stop it, but a second too late
First on scene, shock on my face
Who would suspect? I set the pace
Years roll by, bodies pile up
Accidents happen, that's just my luck
Neighbour's kid, music too loud
Car exploded, drew quite a crowd
Who would suspect? Upstanding citizen
Church volunteer, reputation heaven-sent
Hiding darkness behind this mask
Getting away with every task

Now I'm Old James, grandkids on my knee
Looking back on a life lived secretly
Family tradition, hope they'll carry on
My legacy when I'm dead and gone
Who would suspect? The doting grandpa
Telling stories, but not the real saga
Lifetime of secrets, hidden so well
Truth behind smiles, no one can tell

They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
They pursued it with forks and hope;
They threatened its life with a railway-share;
They charmed it with smiles and soap.

And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark.

But while he was seeking with thimbles and care,
A Bandersnatch swiftly drew nigh
And grabbed at the Banker, who shrieked in despair,
For he knew it was useless to fly.

He offered large discount—he offered a cheque
(Drawn "to bearer") for seven-pounds-ten:
But the Bandersnatch merely extended its neck
And grabbed at the Banker again.

Without rest or pause—while those frumious jaws
Went savagely snapping around—
He skipped and he hopped, and he floundered and flopped,
Till fainting he fell to the ground.

The Bandersnatch fled as the others appeared
Led on by that fear-stricken yell:
And the Bellman remarked "It is just as I feared!"
And solemnly tolled on his bell.

He was black in the face, and they scarcely could trace
The least likeness to what he had been:
While so great was his fright that his waistcoat turned white—
A wonderful thing to be seen!

To the horror of all who were present that day,
He uprose in full evening dress,
And with senseless grimaces endeavoured to say
What his tongue could no longer express.

Down he sank in a chair—ran his hands through his hair—
And chanted in mimsiest tones
Words whose utter inanity proved his insanity,
While he rattled a couple of bones.

"Leave him here to his fate—it is getting so late!"
The Bellman exclaimed in a fright.
"We have lost half the day. Any further delay,
And we sha'n't catch a Snark before night!"