Friendship’s Mystery, To my Dearest Lucasia

Katherine Philips

1632 to 1664

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Come, my Lucasia, since we see
That Miracles Men's faith do move,
By wonder and by prodigy
To the dull angry world let’s prove
There’s a Religion in our Love.

For though we were design’d t’ agree,
That Fate no liberty destroyes,
But our Election is as free
As Angels, who with greedy choice
Are yet determin’d to their joyes.

Our hearts are doubled by the loss,
Here Mixture is Addition grown ;
We both diffuse, and both ingross :
And we whose minds are so much one,
Never, yet ever are alone.

We court our own Captivity
Than Thrones more great and innocent :
’Twere banishment to be set free,
Since we wear fetters whose intent
Not Bondage is, but Ornament.

Divided joyes are tedious found,
And griefs united easier grow :
We are our selves but by rebound,
And all our Titles shuffled so,
Both Princes, and both Subjects too.

Our Hearts are mutual Victims laid,
While they (such power in Friendship lies)
Are Altars, Priests, and Off’rings made :
And each Heart which thus kindly dies,
Grows deathless by the Sacrifice.

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Katherine Philips's Friendship’s Mystery, To my Dearest Lucasia

Katherine Philips, a 17th-century poet often referred to as “The Matchless Orinda,” was known for her lyric poetry that celebrates platonic love and female friendship. Friendship’s Mystery, To my Dearest Lucasia exemplifies her hallmark themes of intimacy, equality, and transcendent unity in friendship. Addressed to her close friend Anne Owen (Lucasia), the poem elevates their bond to a spiritual and almost divine plane, blending Neoplatonic ideals with the metaphysical poetic tradition. Through the use of intricate metaphors, paradoxes, and harmonious structure, Philips constructs a vision of friendship as a sacred and eternal union.

Stanza-by-Stanza Analysis

Stanza 1:

Come, my Lucasia, since we see
That Miracles Men’s faith do move,
By wonder and by prodigy
To the dull angry world let’s prove
There’s a Religion in our Love.

The poem opens with an invocation to Lucasia, situating their friendship as miraculous and capable of inspiring belief in others. The metaphor of “Religion in our Love” elevates their bond above mere human affection, suggesting it is a sacred, almost divine force. The phrase “dull angry world” implies a contrast between the transcendence of their friendship and the base nature of ordinary existence. This opening reflects the metaphysical tradition of framing personal relationships in grand, universal terms.

Stanza 2:

For though we were design’d t’ agree,
That Fate no liberty destroyes,
But our Election is as free
As Angels, who with greedy choice
Are yet determin’d to their joyes.

Here, Philips reconciles the tension between destiny and free will. While she acknowledges that their friendship seems preordained (“design’d t’ agree”), she emphasizes that it is a conscious and voluntary bond, likening it to the freedom of angels. The juxtaposition of “design’d” and “free” reflects the paradox at the heart of their relationship: it is both fated and freely chosen. This echoes the Neoplatonic idea of souls being drawn together by divine harmony.

Stanza 3:

Our hearts are doubled by the loss,
Here Mixture is Addition grown;
We both diffuse, and both ingross:
And we whose minds are so much one,
Never, yet ever are alone.”

This stanza is rich with paradox and metaphysical conceit. The phrase “Our hearts are doubled by the loss” suggests that their union transcends individuality; each loses a part of themselves but gains more through the merging of their hearts. The oxymoron “Mixture is Addition” reflects this idea of shared identity, where unity leads to multiplication rather than diminution. The concluding lines emphasize their spiritual unity, as they are “never, yet ever alone.”

Stanza 4:

We court our own Captivity
Than Thrones more great and innocent:
’Twere banishment to be set free,
Since we wear fetters whose intent
Not Bondage is, but Ornament.

Philips employs the metaphor of captivity to express the paradoxical nature of their love. The “fetters” they wear symbolize their bond, which, though restrictive, is willingly embraced and even celebrated as a form of “Ornament.” This reflects the metaphysical tradition of redefining constraints as desirable. The contrast between “Captivity” and “Thrones” suggests that their friendship is both humble and exalted, a state of chosen devotion superior to worldly power.

Stanza 5:

Divided joyes are tedious found,
And griefs united easier grow:
We are our selves but by rebound,
And all our Titles shuffled so,
Both Princes, and both Subjects too.

This stanza highlights the interdependence within their friendship. The idea that “Divided joyes are tedious” underscores the necessity of shared experience for true fulfillment. Conversely, united grief becomes more bearable, reinforcing the redemptive and equalizing power of their bond. The shifting of “Titles” suggests a fluidity in their roles, where they simultaneously serve and rule each other, reflecting a profound balance and reciprocity.

Stanza 6:

Our Hearts are mutual Victims laid,
While they (such power in Friendship lies)
Are Altars, Priests, and Off’rings made:
And each Heart which thus kindly dies,
Grows deathless by the Sacrifice.

The final stanza adopts the language of religious sacrifice to describe their friendship. The image of hearts as “Victims,” “Altars,” and “Off’rings” encapsulates the totality of their union. Each willingly sacrifices individuality for the other, but this mutual self-giving results in immortality (“Grows deathless by the Sacrifice”). The conclusion suggests that their love transcends mortal limits, achieving an eternal, almost sacred dimension.

Themes

  1. Transcendence of Friendship: The poem elevates friendship to a spiritual level, portraying it as a force akin to religious devotion.
  2. Unity and Reciprocity: Philips emphasizes the complete merging of identities, where joy and grief, bondage and freedom, are shared equally.
  3. Paradox and Metaphysical Conceits: The poem employs paradoxes to illustrate the complexities of friendship, such as freedom within captivity and individuality within unity.
  4. Sacrifice and Immortality: The idea of mutual sacrifice reflects the depth of their bond, granting it eternal significance.

Conclusion

Friendship’s Mystery, To my Dearest Lucasia is a celebration of friendship as a divine and eternal bond, rich with metaphysical complexity and emotional depth. Through intricate metaphors, paradoxes, and a harmonious structure, Philips constructs a vision of friendship that transcends the temporal and physical, presenting it as a spiritual union that defies ordinary definitions of love and individuality. This poem not only reflects Philips’s personal devotion to Lucasia but also contributes to the broader literary tradition of valorizing platonic love as a profound and sacred experience.