“The man who suspects his own tediousness is yet to be born.”

A dry observation on how difficult it is to recognise one's own capacity to bore others · Essay collection, Ponkapog Papers (1903)

• Character
• Humour
• Wit

“I must confess that I think her as delightful a creature as ever appeared in print, and how I shall be able to tolerate those who do not like her at least I do not know.”

Expressing her deep affection for the character Elizabeth Bennet · Letter to Cassandra Austen, 29 January 1813

• Character
• Humour
• Writing

“The English reading public explains the reason why.”

The final barb turns Joyce’s complaint about English into a joke about its readers. · Letter to Fanny Guillermet, 5 September 1918

• Humour
• Readers
• Writing

“Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honoured by posterity because he was the last to discover America.”

A characteristically ironic observation about fame and historical recognition. · Essay, The Mirage of the Fisherman of Aran, 1912

• Fame
• History
• Humour

“On the honor of a gentleman, there is not one single serious line in it.”

A deliberately provocative joke about the seriousness with which readers approached his work. · Interview with Djuna Barnes, 1922

• Humour
• Literature
• Readers

“Humor is a delicate shrub, with the passing hectic flush of its time.”

Comparing humour to something living whose appeal may fade as its cultural moment passes · Ponkapog Papers, Leaves from a Note Book (1903)

• Culture
• Humour
• Time

“Burns comes on at a snail's pace. What a mixty-maxty it is, and sometimes very puzzling.”

Her lively assessment of the difficulties involved in editing Burns · Letter to her Ravelstone correspondent

• Criticism
• Humour
• Writing

“The method has one obvious advantage,—that you are thus quite sure of reaching the conclusion you want to reach.”

Dryly exposing the attraction of confirmation bias · Introductory Lecture, University College London, 1892

• Humour
• Reason
• Truth

“I firmly believe that the health of autograph hunters, as a class, is excellent.”

A dry punchline to Aldrich's suspicion of collectors who pleaded illness to obtain authors' signatures · Essay, The Autograph Hunter, in Ponkapog Papers (1903)

• Books
• Humour
• Wit

“I've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant.”

A celebrated glimpse of Joyce’s playful awareness of the interpretative machinery his work would provoke. · Conversation about Ulysses, as reported by Richard Ellmann

• Humour
• Literature
• Readers

“I don't think people ought to like me, on the whole, but when they do, aint I glad?”

Combining self-doubt with an unaffected delight in being loved · Journal, 1 January 1842

• Humour
• Identity
• Love

“On such occasions very little truth is spoken. I will try not to depart from the convention.”

A characteristically dry opening before offering more serious advice. · Speech, Values in Life, 1907

• Advice
• Humour
• Truth

“I'm damned if I could tell the difference between a hexameter and a pentameter to save my scalp.”

His own joke against the technical polish critics demanded of him · Conversation, as commonly attributed

• Craft
• Humour
• Poetry

“Make him laugh. Speak of trouble as the gymnasium where our moral muscles are developed.”

Using humour and a vivid metaphor to turn adversity into training · Essay, Destiny

• Difficulty
• Growth
• Humour

“I detest a quarto. Capt. Pasley's book is too good for their society. They will not understand a man who condenses his thoughts into an octavo.”

Playfully favouring intellectual economy over ponderous presentation · Letter to Cassandra Austen, February 1813

• Books
• Humour
• Style

“Wars are Spinach. Life in general is the tough part.”

A deliberately comic reversal of conventional ideas about war and ordinary life · Letter to Marlene Dietrich, 27 June 1950

• Humour
• Life
• War

“We should long ago have become a race of unbearably perfect archangels if we could buy knowledge and prudence out of sevenpenny editions.”

A humorous reminder that reading alone cannot make people virtuous. · Speech, The Uses of Reading, 1912

• Humour
• Reading
• Wisdom

“After a man passes his fiftieth milestone he usually awakens at dawn, and his wakefulness is no credit to him.”

Mocking the tendency to turn an effect of ageing into evidence of personal virtue · Essay, On Early Rising, in Ponkapog Papers (1903)

• Age
• Health
• Humour

“Why any man in this damp climate should want to make himself wetter by salmon-fishing passes my comprehension.”

Mocking the attraction of fishing in the notoriously wet Scottish climate · Letter to William Black, 1885

• Humour
• Nature

“The only advantage I have over you is that you have not yet the words in which to express your knowledge, and—you are not allowed to contradict me.”

A humorous acknowledgement of the knowledge children possess before they have the language to articulate it. · Speech, School Experiences, 1929

• Children
• Humour
• Knowledge

“I am what my friends the autograph-hunters call a “noted person,” sometimes perhaps “notorious,” but I am not quite sure of this.”

A self-mocking response to celebrity and the demands of admirers · Letter to M. A. De Wolfe Howe Jr, September 22, 1887

• Fame
• Humour
• Privacy

“I have been hesitating whether I should slowly prepare you for a great shock or tell you at once that musical Germany is a humbug.”

Introducing an irreverent verdict on the operatic performances he heard in Germany · Letter to Anna Harte, 1878

• Humour
• Music

“I am very much flattered by your commendation of my last letter, for I write only for fame, and without any view to pecuniary emolument.”

A characteristically playful claim of literary ambition · Letter to Cassandra Austen, 16 January 1796

• Fame
• Humour
• Writing

“An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.”

A wry observation about the social judgements attached to drinking · Conversation, as commonly attributed

• Humour
• Truth